Conflicts can be very troublesome to handle especially if you are acting as a mediator. Humans do not like handling conflicts or seeing another person getting upset or angry. In the natural world, when a conflict is not taken care of properly, it can escalate, and it is especially troublesome dealing with workplace conflict. In the previous article, there was a conversation on how to handle interactions at work and why we dread it. This article would focus on how managers and HR would be able to handle conversations and make interaction with employees less tricky.

How To Manage Tricky Interactions At Work

One of the most important jobs as a manager is to be able to handle employee interaction and know how to steer it in the right direction. Here are a few pointers to note when handling such an interaction.

• Determine the goal of the interaction: When having conversations with employees, what should be the result is the first thing you should note. Understand why the conversation started in the first place and this will help steer the conversation in the right direction, which is the direction you want it to go.
• Envision the conversation before it happens: Have your conversation planned out in advance but not scripted. You want the conversation to be as natural as possible but at the same time, as prepared as possible. Have notes that prepare you for the conversation and the employee’s reaction. The note should not be exactly what you want to say so as not to seem robotic. You can plan the conversation using the values and the motto you follow.
• Put your emotions in check: Even when you plan for the employee’s emotions does not mean it would most likely play out the way you plan, and you might not be able to control their reaction. However, you can have the composure of calmness, assertiveness and compassion. You are compassionate to their emotions, you are calm by not allowing their emotions to overwhelm you and you are assertive by standing your ground. When you try to be too protective either by fighting, insecurity, static or flattery, you have lost the conversation. Be mature by convincing yourself through past successes that you can achieve your goal.
• Make them feel at home without comfort: Allow them to express their feeling but not feel down or judged by these feelings. Show empathy and not sympathy, and set boundaries where needed. Always have this thought at the back of your mind that whatever reaction they do is not to you, but to the role you occupy.
• Let your final goal be the best case solution: Even when you have planned the result ahead of time, try to show that your employee’s opinions were heard and seen. This is not always possible but always let them know that their side of the discussion matters.
• Make sure they are clear on the conversation: At the end of the meeting, you can always have a recap to make sure they understand your reason for the decisions.
• Replay and readjust: Playback your meeting with your employee and reflect on what was said. Compare it with other meetings and see if you have grown or dwindled. Do not be too hard on yourself as perfection cannot be easily attained. Difficult conversations can usually lead to awkwardness and tension.

Ways To Make Your Conversation More Lively With Better Atmosphere

Follow these steps to properly steer a challenging conversation at that moment

• Set personal feelings aside: If during the conversation you are having strong emotions, suppress these emotions to achieve a better result in the conversation. Avoid speaking about rumours of the employee, their person and their identity as it could feel like an attack rather than a fact. Stick to what you found out, rather than what others told you. Do not shame or blame them but speak compassionately and passionately.
• Have a listening ear and a willing heart: At this point, be a leader and not a boss and listen to your employee carefully and deeply. Understand their reasons for things, and remove any form of assumption. Opening up can usually be difficult for people because they fear the consequences. Let them know that the conversation would be confidential and try to ask deeper questions if necessary but do not go too far. Think of what the problem may be on your side and what the other person thinks the problem is. Try to reconcile these two conflicting problems into one that matches well with your conclusion.
• Show that you understand their feelings: Although, this might sound mechanical, when they are done talking, repeat their problem back to them to make them feel like you are trying to digest what they said and acknowledge how they feel, however, do not be their therapist. For mental health issues, you can offer access to the workplace’s wellness program.
• Have a circumference of tolerance around you: Have a hedge that keeps you calm but also helps you tolerate what they say. Don not be armoured up, or you receive a defensive response. If you are sensing tension in the air, back-track your conversation and slow down. A break would even be suggested if such a break is needed. Control your emotions by breathing deeply, planting your feet on the ground and speaking slowly. Try to give yourself time to think before you respond so that you do not respond with your emotion.
• Mix up the bad with the good: If you are trying to correct an employee, do not just correct them alone but also praise them for an achieved result they have. Start the conversation by stating the strength of such employees to make them feel relaxed and open-minded to hear their criticism constructively. Even after the correction, give them pointers on how they can improve, and show that you support them in whatever way you can.
• Be S.M.A.R.T: This means that let your goals be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound. When you want to help them improve their performance, follow this logic and give a realistic example.
• The T.A.L.K technique: This technique was formulated by the Chartered Management Institute to deal with difficult workplace interactions, and the full meaning is

T – Think about steering the conversation differently: When you feel a conversation is difficult, then it is going to be more difficult. However, if you have a positive and constructive mindset that the conversation would lead to growth, then it becomes easy.

A – Always be clear and simple: Do not generalize, rather be specific and use neutral language.

L – Listen to the other person’s conversation and try to understand what they are saying.

K – Keep the conversation on the issue, not the person: Try not to discuss the pon’s overall character but keep it on the performance and behaviour at the workplace.

Workplace conversations are especially hard not because of the environment but because of words that would be exchanged as it is not easy dealing with personal feelings in the workplace. Prepare yourself for difficult conversations but have a state of mind that the conversation would lead to an opportunity for growth and development of both you as a manager and the employee in question.